Fat Girl on a Bike

I set a goal I knew was likely unless I had a flat.
I set a second goal I knew was possible if I had a great day.
I set a third goal I wished was possible if I had super powers.

I blew the first one out.
I blew the second out out.
I do not, apparently, have super powers.

However, I didn’t realize that I actually did much better than I expected until way after the race ended and the nice people in the timing tent gave me my splits.

The swim was slower than expected, but I also got kicked in the chest near the start and had to recover before getting back in a good groove. I probably lost four minutes right there.

T1 was slow because I stopped to chat with G before walking up the hill.

The bike was much faster than I’ve been doing in practice, despite my seat being too low. Funny, though. It didn’t feel fast. It just hurt. It hurt bad. All I wanted to do afterward was jump back in the chilly lake. So that’s what I did.

Highlights:
- As I finished the swim, I realized I was ready for another 1500m loop around the lake. The swim, despite the time being pretty damn slow for a race, actually felt quite fast. I guess that’s because I couldn’t see where I was going and was only looking for the next buoy.
- I had a motorcycle drafting off me for 20 very hot and painful miles.
- The driver riding the motorcycle got to watch me hitching up my cycling shorts that chafed in places I didn’t know could chafe.
- The only time I got off the bike was to hitch up my shorts and reposition the chamois. I contemplated taking the shorts off and just riding in my bathing suit and jersey, but the dude on the motorcycle could have given me a time penalty for littering.
- My saddle sores actually drew blood.
- I did not throw up, nor did I bonk. The new nutrition plan worked perfectly.
- Last year I was bitching about how “rolling” courses had too many hills.
- This year I was bitching about how “rolling” courses were too damn flat.

As I finished, all I could do was thank whatever deity above that I withdrew from E’man because given how I did Sunday, there was no way I’d be able to finish it within the time limit on my current training level.

One day I’ll get it right. One day 40K will seem like a warm up.

- Swimming in the ocean while there’s a small craft advisory and yellow flag might not be a smart idea.
- Swimming through seven foot waves is really disorienting.
- Watch for the damn rip currents before diving in — you know that froth that appears in stripes up and down the coast? That white stripe marks where the damn current is. (Yes, I know this is a vague description, but it works for me. And since they are notes to ME, that’s all that matters.)
- Dive through the damn waves if you are where they’re breaking. Otherwise, just ride the swell if you’re beyond the break.
- Occasionally take a look or two at the horizon in order to avoid seasickness.
- Don’t swallow any water that gets into your mouth. It will just make you puke.
- Butterfly (that is, really strong butterfly) will get you (me) through the hardest swells a lot easier than freestyle or breaststroke.
- Be very thankful that lifeguards are on duty, even if they compliment you for being a really strong swimmer. Well, be thankful (and slightly bashful) for that as well.
- Getting smashed into the beach hurts and cuts the hell out of skin.
- Getting sand out of places it shouldn’t be hurts even more, especially if you were stuck wearing your swim suit for the next nine hours.
- There are no rules on breathing as long as you get enough air. It doesn’t have to be graceful or rhythmic. All you gotta do is get air — preferably before the next big-ass wave smacks right into you.
- Practice makes perfect — the more you dive through those waves and the more you’re out there, the easier the nerves get.

Oh yeah, swimming in the ocean in the shark bite capital of the world could make a girl feel more like bait than a swimmer.

About a year ago, J approached me at a race to tell me about her training group, saying she thought I’d be a great addition. It was the start of an awesome friendship, but at that time I didn’t think the group was what I needed and decided to keep plugging away on my own. At the end of the season, I began thinking about the next step and finding some form of coaching and her team came back up.

I really wanted to join the group then, but something kept me from approaching the coach and taking that plunge.

Earlier this week, with the urging of J and A, I took the plunge and officially joined up with a training group in Richmond. While I can’t make most of the group workouts, I’ll be able to occasionally make a few as well as have team support and guidance. It will be more work to form those team relationships by distance than if I were in Richmond, but I have a lot of hope for what this season will bring.

I’m sad to say goodbye to Joe, but he and I both agree that it’s for the best. He taught me a lot and I’ll be taking those lessons with me. I hope he drops in occasionally to say hello.

On that note, I’ve changed a bunch of my season around in order to make my life simpler and to try some new things that I know will be a lot of fun. I’ve not officially signed up for anything beyond Kerr Lake AV, but my plans are already in the works for much more open water swimming (including a distance swim event) and a lot of riding. I’ll do some running to keep up some of the fitness and perhaps start running a little more seriously again this fall.

That’s where things stand and I’m excited, yet very nervous, about everything. I broke a big psychological barrier yesterday morning on the bike and I intend to do it a lot more. Too bad I’ll be out of town all next week (and don’t get me started on worries I won’t be ready for Kerr Lake because I lost a week of training.)

Ironic that my mind thinks my body has fully recovered from SML, yet my body hasn’t fully agreed yet. The 1600m I did today was much more exhausting than usual.

- Was so exhausted this morning that I only managed to eat half my bagel. I thought it was a small bagel until I got to the park and realized I’d only had half. D’oh.
- Had several sneezing fits from all the pollen in the air — to the point where one of my rack mates asked if his next ‘bless you’ would cover me for the rest of the day.
- Water was 64 degrees with a pretty good chop and fairly strong current, but OH SO BEAUTIFUL.
- Realized that once I got in the water, it was actually very comfortable and refreshing sans wetsuit. I was colder on the bike at Smithfield than I was in the water at SML.
- Got rather seasick from the waves and had trouble walking to transition because I was so dizzy (and couldn’t see the ground.)
- T1 took forever because I was so dizzy.
- Bike felt absolutely awful for the first 6 miles. Then it felt awesome until mile 10.5. Then for some reason I totally bonked with a such massive wave of weakness washing over my body that I got off the bike to walk to the top of a very minor hill. Once back on the bike, I spewed about a third of the contents in my stomach. Felt better, though riding back through the pack of runners was a little nerve wracking.
- Realized I need a new nutrition plan on the bike because what I’m doing isn’t cutting it. Accelerade is totally fired.
- Had to walk to my rack in T2, which was at the far end of the area.
- Walked most of the 5K, but did run quite a bit of the downhills and ran a significant portion of the last part of the race.
- Saw several vultures circling over the turn around. Wasn’t sure if they were for me or for someone else :-)
- Hit the finish line during the middle of the awards ceremony and there were no photogs. Sad because I actually had a smile on my face as opposed to last time, when I looked like I was about to die.
- Have some pretty gnarly blisters on my feet, though I’m not sure why. I had a feeling that would happen so I changed socks in T2, but sure enough, the toes are in pretty bad shape.
- Was so dehydrated when I got home that my trisuit actually fell off me. Still having trouble getting fluids down and feel like I’ve been hit by a truck (which I’m sure after 10 hours of sleep and several liters of very diluted gatorade, I’ll be fine.)
- Had an amazing time and had a big grin on my face almost the whole time. It was a gorgeous day and I was just enjoying being out there.
- Finished about 2:31. I know the bike was just over an hour and would have been under had I not bonked and barfed. I know the swim was well under 20 minutes. Forgot to calculate the run, but think it’s similar to my other recent 5Ks.
- SO SO SO happy I don’t have to go to work or do anything of substance tomorrow.

Last weekend I had two really really bad workouts back to back. Each time I only managed to complete a small fraction of the assigned workout — each ride less than 9 miles and only one brisk walk where my legs felt like runny jello.

That hit me hard Saturday night, wondering if it was a good idea to do SML when I still feel like crap, I’m still trying to pull myself out of my post-move funk and when I’ve got ugly back-to-back work weeks in terms of stress and heartburn.

It wasn’t until last night that I actually felt like adjusting the seat on my bike, getting on and playing a little bit with it on the trainer (without shoes, natch. Not a smart idea, natch.)

All week, I haven’t been sure if SML will be in my cards, despite having rented a wetsuit (which STILL hasn’t arrived.) My positive side really wants it to happen, for me to get over myself and just go have a nice day. My negative side just wants me to stay home in bed.

E asked me Monday what was the biggest problem right now, the biggest source of stress. Was it moving? Work? Training? Life? What?

Strangely enough, it’s not really any of those. The biggest problem is my bad attitude. I can only push it away for a few moments these days and then it comes creeping back in. My body hurts from all the emotional stress and my pride is still wounded. It doesn’t help that my bike seat wasn’t adjusted properly, I’m sleep deprived from numerous things and my mental strength is only barely back in the black.

Yet, if I have a few moments where I can not think about all the crap going on, I get excited about the race. I feel strong enough to do it. I know that if I can just stand up, move forward and finish with a genuine smile on my face, I will have won.

So that’s how I’m going into this weekend. My goal is to stand up, move forward and finish with a smile. I’m going to soak in all the positive vibes from other racers and to share my own. I’m going there, knowing the hills will hurt and that I will be slow. But, as Annn put it, we do this for fun. That’s the only reason to do this.

(and I will also be out there, thinking and snorting at the thought of A doing an impromptu half mary at White Lake. But only because she’s so totally awesome.)